I'm Thinking of Ending Things (BOOK REVIEW)

Real rating: 4/5

I'm conflicted

I can't analyze this the way I normally do, it wouldn't do this justice or maybe it would do it too much justice?
This book was a Rollercoaster, but the ending ruined it for me. Or did it? I might have loved it? Im confused.
There was a lot to unpack in this winding story but the way it tried to unpack it just didn't work for me, I sort of understand but if it's how I'm understanding it then that kinda pisses me off.

There was so much happening that it needed so much thought, but none of the "story lines" fully connected in the end in my opinion.
At the same time, there were many moments that I really enjoyed, I was genuinely creeped out in a lot of scenes but it was just so bad the way it ended.
I kinda hate it.
I kinda respect the author for having the balls to pull that kinda ending
But it doesn't work for me I guess?
Or maybe it did.
I'm very unsure about how I feel right now.

Spoilers from this point on

So basically the ending is nothing in this book actually happened. It was all in the main character(s) head with the suggestion that this character has dissociative identity disorder.
With such a cool introspective story the fact that it ended in a disorder that has deeply impacted my life as someone with DID really hurt. I don't know, it just didn't feel right. But at the same time it did? It pulled the story together so well, it made sense, and I loved it AND hated it.

So first we have "the caller". The "caller" seemed to be trying to wake up our protagonist to ask the question of "continue or stop" at the end. The protagonist is fighting against his own mind in a way throughput this entire book to decide if he wants to kill himself at the end of the book.
He builds the female character in his head as a way to stop being lonely. He builds her history, her love, her longing to leave as a way to justify the question continue or stop.
Jake is the body, he is trying to fall in love with this girl and with himself through these metaphors and ideas in his head to stop himself from feeling alone.
"She" is the answer to his question, if she leaves him he will stop going on.
And in the end she decides she wants to "end things"
And so does he.
The ending gave me a lot of conflict, it meant that nothing in the book had actually happened but thinking back on it that actually makes way more sense.
"We're communicating"
"We're thinking"
That's what that line was supposed to mean. It was communication between the fragments. A conversation.
There was a reason there were so many people in the paintings as well, they were all his fragments, collected to make himself feel whole and not alone.

I am still worried about the girl in the dairy queen, she confuses me, and she said she was scared for "Jake" or was that Jake making that up? I'm unsure.
There's a lot of stuff that needs to be unpacked.
So yeah there's my random thoughts and analysis on the story!